To All Americans

Friends.  Family.  People of the internet.  I know you only come to this blog to read about all the very serious problems that directly impact the quality of my daily life (but in case you’re new here: I mean that I write nothing serious – ever), so I know this type of post is NOT what you want to see out of me, but hang in for a minute.  I went back and forth for a long time trying to decide if I should post this or not.  It’s not my thing, it doesn’t fit with the theme of the blog, but I felt like I had to say something about everything that’s happening.  I promise not to make this a recurrent theme, as I am not mentally prepared for, nor committed to, that level of gravity on my frickin’ amusement blog.

But holy shit, y’all.

America. We have a very real problem. That’s not accurate.  Obviously, we have many problems, but right now, RIGHT NOW, one is standing out like a disco ball at a state funeral.

I’d love to say the problem is as simple as “Donald Trump”, but in truth, he opportunistically stirred up the problem, however HE is not the problem.  WE ARE.

OH YES, – WE!  Every. single. one of us!

-You, who DID NOT VOTE, but want to blame people for the outcome.  You CHOSE to silence your own voice, which just blows my mind, but now you have to live with your choice.
-YOU, who embarrassed our country by VOTING FOR A DEAD GORILLA.  Think about that for a minute.  I KNOW all the candidates were awful. ALL OF THEM.  But you TRIED TO VOTE A DEAD ANIMAL INTO THE OFFICE OF PRESIDENT.  Imagine how disgusted you’d be, how scornful, if people in say, Abu Dhabi, voted for a dead camel. YES. IT IS THE SAME THING.  (And yes, there are elected officials in Abu Dhabi.  Please educate yourself.)
-You, who voted for a fictional character.  This is just as infuriating as the Harambe voters.
-You, who voted for a dead person. Please. Make it stop.  Seriously, America??
-You, who posts that we need to come together – yet insults “all you liberal crybabies” IN THE SAME POST.
-You, who posts that we need to come together – yet insults “all you racist hillbillies” IN THE SAME POST.
-You, who spent months PREACHING that all Muslims are dangerous terrorists, who all secretly support ISIS and have NO GOAL other than the destruction of the US – yet now are offended when people say you’re a racist, xenophobic, homophobic, bigot, even if by association.
-You, who spent WEEKS saying Trump and his supporters would act like FOOLS if he didn’t win – yet now are pretty much doing EXACTLY that.
-You, who says  “everyone who doesn’t like it needs to leave the country!” Perhaps you can’t see what a completely childish statement that is, so let me break it down for you: You’re saying that anyone who doesn’t agree with you, and dares to say so, doesn’t deserve the freedoms and country THEY were also born into.  LIKE THE FREEDOM TO DISAGREE WITH YOU.
-You, who says that everyone who does like it is a racist, xenophobic, homophobic, bigot.  Clearly, not EVERYONE who likes the outcome of the election is ALL (or even some) of these things.  I know you know that, because I know you know not all Mexicans are rapist drug-dealers.
-You, who voted for “who you’d rather have a beer with”.  I’d like to have a beer with a large number of people, many of whom are great to have a beer with! But that does NOT mean they would be good presidents.  Hell, some wouldn’t even be good pet owners.
-You, who told people they “wasted” their vote on a 3rd party candidate.  You can’t see the face I’m making, but you just got mom’d hard as fuck.  No vote is ever wasted unless it is not cast, or is cast for an entity which cannot hold the office.  Additionally, you’re assuming they otherwise would have voted for your candidate.
-You, who thinks it is “unamerican” to mess up the words to a song or speech when addressing thousands.  Perhaps you’ve never spoken or performed in front of a large crowd.  It is SO easy to trip up over nerves.  All the people, the lights, the energy, the pressure.  No one is perfect. Not even you.
-You, who thinks it is acceptable to accuse someone of being a terrorist because they offered an alternate view of a situation. You want to know what’s “unamerican”…Denying a fellow American their Constitutional rights because you feel your opinion is more important than theirs. THAT’S pretty fuckin’ “unamerican”.
-You, who are making wildly inaccurate statements like “everyone saying that you’re scared – this is EXACTLY how I have felt every day for the last 8 years!”  You. Have. Not.  Whether their fear proves to be unfounded or not, and even if YOU THINK their fear is unfounded, many people are afraid. They are afraid that they, or their loved ones, will have their basic human rights taken away, will have their families taken away.  You DID NOT spend “every day for the last 8 years” in fear of the government separating you from your family or legally ending your marriage.  SO STOP IT.
-You, angry minority who now blames all white people.  Please don’t do this.  You know it’s not all white people.
-You, who cannot agree to disagree without insulting the other person.
-You, who demands credible sources for everything, AND YET shares blatantly false information about any candidate or topic you don’t like.  AND THEN when it has been proven false beyond all doubt, you keep sharing it.  For fuck’s sake, man.
-You, who cannot respect “separation of church and state”.
-You, who are now refusing to put the anger aside and treat others with respect because “I doubt they will do the same.” What kind of grade school logic is that?!  What happened to “treat others as you would have them treat you”?! That statement does NOT go on to say “unless they’re mean to you, then fuck those guys”.  COME. ON.
-You, CLINGING to grievances which are not yours to claim.
-You, who are “embarrassed to be an American”.  I understand that you’re frustrated.  You’re disappointed.  You’re in shock.  You’re heartbroken. You’re upset.  You’re sad, angry, tired, empty, afraid, hurt, on edge, anxious, depressed – in turn, and all at once. Not because “you’re side didn’t win”, but because it feels like this loving, supportive, tolerant America you believed you lived in was all an illusion. You’re all those feelings toward everyone who voted differently that you, toward the system, the outcome, and Donald Trump.  I fully understand and support taking time to process and FEEL all those emotions.  It’s always ok to express your emotions and feelings. I’m not suggesting you stop doing that.  But express your feelings with more meaning and purpose, do it in a way that can rally the troops. No one wants to work toward change with you if they think you already believe it’s a lost cause.
-You, who voted straight party without doing ANY research on the down-ballot.  That’s irresponsible.  It doesn’t matter if you voted straight Republican or straight Democratic.  It is irresponsible.  KNOW who you’re voting for, be sure you agree with their policies and platform.  It’s your civic duty.
-You, who voted without doing any research WHATSOEVER.  I mean, I guess at least you didn’t write in Harambe.  But can you even remember the offices and proposals for which you blindly cast your vote?  How did you even choose?!  “Proposal A…huh…My name starts with A, A is a good letter! Vote yes!”  Ridiculous.  This is not a game.  This is our GOVERNMENT. THAT is partially how we end up with shit candidates and laws.
-You, who’ve lead your children to believe that it’s OK go to school and chant “BUILD THAT WALL!” at their classmates in a full cafeteria – or at anyone, anywhere, ever, for that matter. If you truly cannot see that as a MAJOR parenting fail, can’t see it for the disgusting behavior it is, then you are DEFINITELY part of the problem.
-You, who are RIOTING and calling it a “protest”.  You have GOT to be kidding!!!! You KNOW the difference, you’re not an infant!!  Destruction of property is not “a protest”.  It is a CRIME.  Congratulations, now YOU are in fact a criminal.
-You, burning the flag.  I don’t even know where to start with that one.  It’s unnecessary.  It proves nothing.  It changes NOTHING.  I get that you’re doing it “for the symbolism”, HOWEVER, you’re an adult and you can find better ways to express your feelings than setting the American flag on fire.  FOR FUCK’S SAKE.
-You. You, you, and you.
-And me, I’m not pretending I’m above this.  I have fallen down the rabbit hole a few times during this election cycle.  I’ve commented on things that did not require comment. I’ve said mean-spirited (read: shitty) things.  I could have kept scrolling.  I KNOW better.  That makes me part of the problem, too.


We sure are a judgmental group of temperamental assholes, aren’t we?  We just LOVE to tear each other apart.  To what end?? (Again, not excluding myself.)  We can do better than this.  We HAVE TO.  I cannot even believe all the arrogance, ignorance, hatred, name-calling, and childish garbage disguised as a ‘call for healing’ POURING out of our mouths right now! We all hate us right now!!  TELL ME you’re NOT sick of seeing the complete shitshow that is the aftermath of this election!! Were middle and high school not enough??  We have to revisit that level of nastiness??  Are we actually NOT better than this??

People keep asking me if the rest of the world is laughing at us.  I assure you, they are NOT.  The international reactions are sadness, shock, anxiety, and fear.  I spent a large portion of my day yesterday defending Americans to various different groups of nationalities.  You may believe, as I want to, that President Trump will turn out to be good, fair, and stable, but that is not the face he has spent the last 18 months presenting to the world.  And THAT is not an opinion.  You can try to deny it, but that doesn’t make it less true.  Could he have just pulled off the greatest bait and switch in the history of ever? GOD, I HOPE SO.  I would love NOTHING MORE than for President Trump to go down in history as one of our greatest presidents.  Why would anyone NOT want that?  None of us WANTS America to fail.  We all want America to succeed and grow.  But the fact remains: he spent the last 18 months stirring up hate and fear in America.  Let’s build walls!  Let’s commit war crimes! Let’s punch people in the face instead of working out our differences! Let us also bring back religious persecution!  He would not have been able to DO THAT, to stir up those fears and hates and old hurts, if we weren’t willing to play along – and NEARLY HALF of us ate it right up.  Now we’re in this crazed frenzy where we’re all fighting with each other, friendships have been ruined, families divided, neighbors are side-eyeing each other, and no amount of saying “well that was fun, but now let’s get along!” is going to smooth it over. THAT’S what we’ve openly displayed to the world for more than a year.  THAT’S what we’re left to deal with. So we can’t really be too surprised by the comments the world is making about us (not that they hurt less.)  Some of these comments include:
“Well, I’M not surprised, that’s just the way Americans are!”
“You can’t say Americans aren’t hateful, the majority of them voted for this guy! They WANT this!”
“It is a sad day when the “greatest country in the world” elects a leader with no interest in global peace and unity.”
“What happened to America?”
“How did the American democracy get so broken that everyone hated both the candidates?”
“THIS is the government we’re all supposed to emulate?!”


I don’t know what to say, guys.  If those statements didn’t break your heart a little, or make you upset, you should look up the actual definition of the word “patriotism”.  PRIDE in our country.  An emotional attachment to our homeland.  How do you call yourself patriotic if it doesn’t hurt your pride and your heart when people think it’s sad to be American?   We need to set our “they hate us cuz they ain’t us” aside and really think about the example we’re setting.  Not just of Americans in the world, but also – and especially – of Americans WITHIN America. The message we’re sending with our actions toward OUR FELLOW AMERICANS just in the last 24 hours is one of hate, selfishness, and intolerance.  I’m not talking about left or right, red or blue, white or black or brown or tan, or any other sides or groups of people.  I’m talking about all of us, I’m talking about respect and regard for humankind.  WE THE PEOPLE.  EVERY one of us could have been better through this process.  We don’t have to agree on every issue, or on ANY issue.  But that is NOT a reason to treat someone disrespectfully.  We adults have GOT to stop acting like spoiled toddlers.  We NEED to treat one another like HUMANS.  The world is watching, but most importantly, OUR CHILDREN are watching.

WE ARE better than this.  We have to BE better than this.
We have to do better.



That’s all the serious I’ve got.  If you want to leave nasty comments, that’s fine.  If you want to hate me, delete me, unfollow me, or send me nasty messages, that’s fine.  I will not respond. I’m serious about including myself in the message: we all have to do better.


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